• my name is maria
• i’m 19
• i like lindsay lohan, hgtv, and myself
• the tags list is a good representation of what i like. doesn’t have all my interests tho because i’m lazy.
• text posts are my friends
• i occasionally make gifs!
• pop culture is bombastastic love so fantastic
• no really. i thrive on the superficiality of celeb culture.
• i dressed up as jesus for halloween in 2010
• i’ll be different britneys for halloween from now on
• my prince & princess are p.funk & lilo 
• you’ll probably hear of an ‘amara’ every now and then but i don’t suggest in finding out who that is
• there’s no decade enthusiast worse than 90s enthusiasts 
• warning: strong chance i’ll hate on something you like
• i basically h8 everything
• i especially h8 babies, old people, and dolphins
• but i’m gr8 so you’ll forgive me and we’ll be bff4lyfe ｡◕‿◕｡
• bye

amazing five star reviews:

• “My name is Maria and I ruin people’s lives. I am a literal life-ruiner. I gain great pleasure in destroying people’s lives, by making them fall in love with Pfunk (aka Penn Badgley) and terrible (but great) teen shows. Sometimes I pretend to be a bitch but I genuinely love the people’s lives I ruin. Maybe I’ll ruin your life one day. Just wait and see.” - babyshambles-
• “ur the biggest and worst cunt i’ve ever met and i’ve met teddy and neha and so that’s saying a lot” - babyshambles- (she’s obsessed with me)
• “Maria continues to be the voice of reason” - imbobswaget
• “This girl used to like The Used” - lovelocket
• “Maria is my bbf (best bitch friend)” - constant name changer, Amara
•